Update

So I guess it is obvious by now that I am not a dedicated blogger. I decided that I am just going to blog my monthly progress, that way I don’t feel bad every night when I decide that I don’t want to sit at the computer and write about my weight loss.

I did my weigh in yesterday, and for the month of March I only lost 14 pounds. BUT I did lose another pants size, so that is exciting. AND shopping is so much better now! I am shopping at regular stores, not fat girl stores! No plus size sections! It is fantastic! It feels great to buy a shirt that is just a Large. No longer do I buy XXL or XL… It will be even better when I get down to a medium. J

Since I began this, I’ve lost a total of 45 pounds. Sadly I have another 70 to go. But I feel great and I’m confident that I can do this… finally!

Genie Says “Make a Wish”

I heard something interesting on the radio the other day. The hypothetical question of the morning was “If you could have the perfect body forever, never having to exercise and being able to eat whatever you wanted and as much as you wanted, BUT in turn it would make your best friend fat, would you do it?”

I thought about that in depth (as if it would actually ever happen). Could I do that to one of my best friends? I went through my mental list of best friends one by one. Each friend I chose I found reasons why picking them to become fat was a good idea, but in the end, I couldn’t do that to any of them. I know what it’s like to be fat, not just the physical constraints but the emotional ones as well, and I just couldn’t do that to one of my best friends.

Female friends that is…

Sorry boys, I’ve mentally made a few of you fat, not just so I can have the perfect body, but so some of my girlfriends can too.

I Don't Like February

I did my second weigh in yesterday. I am not happy with the number I saw on the scale. I only lost 11 pounds last month. Although to be fair, my workouts were not good last month. And I had my wisdom teeth pulled and lived off of mashed potatoes and frozen yogurt for a week (I know I gained weight during that week!). So I guess having the month I had, losing 11 pounds is good. I will need to work harder this month. I am so tired of being fat; I want it to be gone!

So my total weight loss so far is only 31 pounds. At my next weigh in I am hoping I will finally be out of the 200 club!

Lazy

I’ve been so terrible about writing (the hardest thing about this diet so far). I never feel like writing at the end of the day.

So I've been doing great with my eating. Still keeping it low cal, no problems there. My workouts on the other hand are not so great. The last two weeks have been pretty pathetic. I have not been doing my 5 days a week, not even close. I need to get back in it this week. I NEED to. Eating healthy without exercise is not going to cut it. February is half over, if I want to meet my goal for this month I need to start working harder.

On an exciting note, I went out and bought a smaller size pair of jeans this week. That’s right, I lost a whole pants size! I love seeing results!!

January Goal Met!

I did my first weigh in yesterday. I was nervous to step on the scale, worried that I had only lost 5 pounds (that would have been so discouraging!). Fortunately I lost my targeted weight loss for January. I am down 20 pounds and my waist is 5 inches smaller than it was when I began! I was excited about this. However, upon further thought I am disappointed in myself. I could have done better. The last two weeks of January I faltered on my workouts. Had I stuck to my five days a week of exercise, I could have lost more. I realize that 20 pounds is a lot, but I also realize that I am so big, that 20 pounds is no big deal. I expect February to have another 20 pound loss. This is my goal for this month. I better get to work on it!

Fooooood!

The last two weeks of working out has been a bust. Last week I was sick the first part of the week so I only worked out 3 days last week. And this week I ended up having to go in for an emergency dental appointment and only was able to workout on Monday so far. However, with the dental visit I haven’t been able to eat since Tuesday morning at breakfast. I’ve been living off of Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt (only 80 calories, so I am averaging 240 calories a day this week). I am hungry! But I guess since I haven’t been exercising, consuming an extremely low amount of calories works.

I have family coming into town for the weekend. We are going to have a family day at Disneyland tomorrow, so at least I will be doing a ton of walking. BUT I will also be at Disneyland where they have the world’s best churros and those chocolate covered vanilla ice cream Mickey Mouse heads! Plus it is my Nephews birthday and I know there is going to be some yummy food in my house this weekend. I am in trouble! I’m going to need some serious self control. Especially since my first weigh in is on Tuesday! I am worried that I am going to step on the scale, see that I've only lost 5 pounds and get discouraged (it better be way more than 5 pounds! I am hoping for closer to 20. Is that unrealistic?).

I wish I was one of those girls that can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. I wonder what they had to do in the previous life to be given such a gift…

Musings of a Fat Girl

My mother informed me that my blog is boring. That perhaps I should write about my feelings or things that are funny. She told me to write about how I feel when I see a cute boy and know he won’t like me… Ummmm?? Gee, thanks mom. I actually found that statement funny, not insulting (because I know she didn’t say it to be mean, she has quite the talent for that, I’ve learned over the years not to let it bother me). I decided to write about that though, how I feel when I see a cute boy.

I have liked boys since preschool, maybe even before. I get made fun of for being boy crazy because I think most people are attractive. I don’t think this is a bad thing, I can just see the good qualities in people and that makes them attractive (nothing wrong with enjoying some eye candy). But I don’t like people often. That takes effort. An effort I haven’t been putting in for years. Why? Because with weight gain you lose your confidence, you just do. You wear sweatshirts because they hide your fat rolls. You refrain from eating in public because you don’t want to see the accusation in the eyes around you... “should you really be eating that? Maybe you should get a salad and then go to the gym”. You don’t like talking to people, especially people who knew you when you were thinner because you know the first thing they are going to say when you leave is “wow, she looks really bad. She gained a LOT of weight”. You don’t like big groups; you’d rather melt into the background, keep quiet, keep hidden (as if you can hide when you’re the biggest person in the room). So having those feelings, no, I don’t date. I don’t even think about dating. Why would I want someone to date me when I wouldn’t even date myself? So Mother, here is my answer: when I see a cute boy, other than noticing he is attractive, I feel nothing. I don’t get my feelings hurt, I don’t feel bad. It is what it is. HOWEVER, even though I just started this “journey” to living a healthy life, I feel better. I feel more confident (more than I have in years), and it is just going to keep getting better. I am excited about this.

One last thing to my dear, sweet Mother (no sarcasm intended), I would like to point out the top of my blog clearly states that this blog is intended for MY benefit, not the readers…

Note: My favorite church skirt no longer fits me… it is WAY too big! :o)